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Better Late Than Never?

3/8/2016

2 Comments

 
Well would you look at that? Not even 2 days after I post a rant about Ontario's deplorable views of stillborn babies, I finally receive some information from the Registrar General's office concerning my not-so-recent request for information.

I sent the request for Ryan's (non-existent) birth certificate at the end of September, and today, in the mail, I find my rejection letter. Just about 5 months later.

I requested the birth certificate for legal proof he was here. And the response I received was quite the opposite. "We have been unable to match your application to an existing registration at this time." (Loosely translated: This person does not currently exist).

Although I knew this already, it doesn't hurt any less to have it in writing. Official writing on government letterhead at that. 

I suppose, now I can really start considering requesting a copy of his Statement of Stillbirth -- maybe with a personal letter attached explaining the emotional stress this simple paperwork has caused.

If you're a loss-parent, whose baby died and was recognized as a stillbirth, do you have any "legal" documentation of this? Did it "help you?" Is there even a "point" for me to go through the process of this? I know it's different for everyone, but I'd love to hear your thoughts.
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2 Comments
Melissa
5/5/2016 02:05:46 pm

Hi Amanda,
First off, I'm sorry for your loss <3. Our baby Lachlan was born sleeping on April 1, 2016 at 33 weeks gestation and reading your blog is definitely refreshing in this time of need. I am trying to find more moms to connect with that have the same feelings. I personally wanted something as well... I got his Alberta health card but it didn't even say his name just my last name. The only thing that I have with his name is his death certificate which the funeral home gave me after asking. I thought we would get a copy of the still birth registration but was told they only do it for the provinces basically for "statistics". I am debating if I want to go through the process of applying for it too.

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Amanda Russell
5/5/2016 10:41:38 pm

Melissa,

I'm so sorry to hear about Lachlan. My heart is definitely with you.

I'm not sure how I got it, so I don't know if this is helpful. But a few weeks ago I was mailed a copy of Ryan's Certificate of Stillbirth. It's basically the form we filled out in the hospital that day on official looking paper. I don't know if someone requested it for us, or if they sent it because I accidentally requested and paid for a birth certificate. I don't know that it has done much for my healing. But it is nice to have official papers acknowledging him.

Your grief and hurt must still be so raw. You don't have to make any decisions now. You will know in time what will be best and most helpful for you.

Hugs.

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