As Long as I'm Living
  • Welcome
  • My Story
  • Gratitude
  • Blog

A Place for My Heart

I feel inspired to share my heart.
I hope it helps others feel less alone on their own journeys.
Follow me here or on Instagram.
My Instagram

Grocery Shopping Pains

4/3/2016

0 Comments

 
The very domestic chore of grocery shopping is one I reserve for the weekends. Usually I make time on a Saturday morning or early afternoon to go pick up the necessities for the week. Unlike other tasks like getting a haircut, or my eyebrows waxed, which I have avoided for some months now (yikes), I can't avoid grocery shopping. And it seems weird to admit, but I've had my share of grief moments in the aisles of the grocery store.

I've mentioned before the early challenges of all the darn babies that are proudly carted around the store. I'd be transfixed at the beautiful new moms with carts full of food and a carseat trotting through the aisles. Tears on my cheeks. Wishing I was them.

Those pains have mostly gone. I don't feel the need to stare at the new babies. Wistful. Now, I give them a little smile. And carry on with my business.

Lately though, I seem to have developed new grocery store pains. The ones that come when I'm filling my cart with the things Rich and I like, wondering what might be different if Ryan was here. I realize it's useless to spend time aching over "what ifs," but there will always be a giant "What If" cloud drifting over my head. And though most things I can consider what if and move on, sometimes, for some reason, I get hung up on some of them. Like this one.

He'd be nearly 7 months now. What foods would be his favourites? What would I be buying that I don't have to buy now? I can barely walk by the baby food aisle because I constantly feel robbed of the fact that I don't need anything down there. 

This is what baby loss looks like. It's psyching yourself up for the little things like grocery shopping. Because sometimes it's those little things that we looked forward to the most with our little ones in tow.
Picture
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016

    Categories

    All
    Advice
    Capture Your Grief
    Community
    Events
    Faith
    Good Deeds
    Gratitude
    Grief
    Guilt
    Healing
    Holidays
    Honouring Baby
    Joy
    May We All Heal
    Milestones
    Motherhood
    Music
    Parenting After Loss
    Pregnancy After Loss
    Quotes
    Rainbow Baby
    Self-Care
    Signs
    Stress

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Welcome
  • My Story
  • Gratitude
  • Blog