Christmas is officially one month away. Usually by now my house is full decorated inside and out and the Christmas music has been playing for about 25 days. I've even probably had a few egg nogs. That wasn't the case last year, our first holiday season without Ryan, and I'm surprised to say that it isn't the case this year either. It did eventually get everything done last year, just in its own time. My excuse being that I simply wasn't ready. In my own mind, that "excuse" doesn't seem as appropriate this year, so I've created others. It's too cold or rainy. We're busy with guests. The house is a mess. I have to clean first. The baby is being particularly needy. But they are just excuses. Despite coming from a long line of very festive and holiday-loving people, for the past two years I have just found it a little bit strange (difficult?) to feel festive when I'm missing someone so badly. But that doesn't mean I don't WANT to be the same elf-ish celebrator of Christmas I once was.
So last year, I scoured the internet for ways to bring Ryan into my season. Ways to include him, incorporate him, and celebrate him along with all of the rest of the celebrations. It was kind of a tough search. At that time I didn't know where to look. Pinterest isn't exactly full of ideas for this sort of thing, though believe it or not, I did find some good ideas there. And last year I wasn't as "connected" to others in the baby loss community as I am now. Those ladies never let me down when I'm seeking out info such as this. But little by little I pieced together some plans and created some of my own and my holidays were actually quite lovely. Bittersweet. But beautiful.
This year, I thought I would compile those ideas from last year, along with some I've heard about and gathered recently, in hopes this list will find its way into the hands of some other lost loss mama looking for ways to honour and celebrate her beautiful little one this Christmas.
That's all from me, though I'm sure there are so many other great ideas out there. I'd love to hear what you have planned,
I wish you a gentle and beautiful holiday season.