Over the past year I have been collecting quotes, images, moments, thoughts, feelings, all with the intention of sharing them someday here. And I usually do when the right moment comes along, or when I need to push myself in terms of reflecting or working things through. In fact, if I sat down and wrote every time I jotted down one of these notes, I'm not sure I'd ever leave this room. Or surely people would stop reading, so endless would my stream of postings be.
Yes, the list is long, but it is important. Because everything I've felt, or thought, or experienced, or came across and was touched by, tells part of our story and another piece of my heart. And that was the whole point of taking my journalling online: to share my heart. My healing, my grief, my story -- my version of motherhood.
So, as part of my preparations for my boy's big day I'm going to share, share, share, all the things I've been meaning to explore but haven't found the right moment. What moment could be more right than the days leading up to the day that changed me forever?
And I'll start with my favourite. Something I want to share with every person who walks through my door. But, since I refuse to force Ryan on anyone (said the woman who writes a blog and posts it all over social media), I have really only shared it with a select few family members.
Ryan's Baby Book.
I created it back in November as an outlet for thinking of him and preserving as many of the memories we have together as possible. I wrote about it on Instagram when it arrived and today I'll share a page-by-page photo breakdown of the book. So you can see the happiness he brought to us while he was still here. It's so important to remember and hold on to that happiness whenever I can.