Right after losing Ryan I logged online to find some comfort. I was instantly overwhelmed by the volume of information out there. Too many babies died. There was just too much sadness. It was closer to a month later when I went back online. The first thing I found was an article titled "You Will Laugh Again" published on Still Standing Magazine.
It seemed written specifically for me.
"If you’re reading this, and you can’t fathom the day you will laugh again. You will. I promise."
I was online looking for some hope. And I found it. That whole online magazine has ended up being a staple for me. But this article was what I needed. A reminder that in my own time, in my own way, I would find a way to laugh again. To be happy.
And I have. I do! I go for long stretches full of laughter and joking. Hours of silly games with the little people in my life. I would have never imagined it to be possible but I have found joy again. I always feel a bit of guilt admitting it. But it's true. And I know he'd want it this way.