I've read a lot of beautiful posts today from other loss mamas about how treasured their pregnancies were (and are still) to them--that time we all had with our babies when it was just us and them.
Me and You, Ryan.
I had always worried that another pregnancy would be a very confusing time for me. That I'd get all mixed up about this baby and you. Because I only ever knew you from inside of me. But it's not that way. You were different. (And your little brother or sister is doing a great job of reminding me of just how different you are -- it's true that no two pregnancies are exactly the same, that's for sure!)
But I did and do treasure our time when it was just me and you.
I had a tough day today, emotionally speaking. In preparing a few things for this new little one I've come across a lot of memories of us. Photos mostly. Photos are all we have, really. And in each one, I don't just see me. I see us. And it brings a smile to my heart and a tear to my eye every time. Because even though it doesn't look like there's a me and you anymore, it will always feel that way to me.
I was given a sweet gift (a memory book) from some coworkers today for me and your little sibling. The note read something like: "When we saw this, we thought of you and Ryan. We are excited to give it to Ryan's little sister or brother."
It made my heart swell that some people still think of us together.
Because as far as I'm concerned, wherever I go, there you will be. Not many moms get that with their children.
Me and you. Forever.