MWAH Day 14: Remember

Song: Remember Me This Way
Artist: Jordan Hill
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Remember. As if I could forget. It's Mother's Day, and few days could force me to remember more than today. One of my fellow loss mamas said it best: Ryan made me a mom. Brayden made my motherhood dreams come true. For me, today is a day for balancing what my motherhood is. It's mothering Brayden here on earth with kisses and cuddles and all those other important things like diapers, naps, and feedings. But it's also finding ways to mother Ryan. That's so important to me. Lately, I've been working on focusing how he is still present instead of only seeing his absence. Especially on days like today. It means incorporating him into our celebration instead of only feeling miserable that he's not here. I'm tackling the challenge in finding you in beautiful things. Today we grabbed some sweets from a favourite bakery, a storybook about a mom and her boy, a picnic blanket, and the 4 of us spent some time at Ryan's place. We talked, and laughed, and read, and ate. And had some time together. Then we moved on to our next activity. Our family certainly doesn't look like most other families, but it looks pretty special to me. And I still miss him. I miss him so fiercely I can't help but think of him during every moment we shared today. But today it was about thinking of him and smiling. The boy who made me a mom. I need to do more of this. Every day. Not just special days.

Lyrics:
Every now and then
We find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time you fall
You're the best friend that I've found

I know you can't stay
A part of you will never ever go away
Your heart will stay

I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life would just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way

I don't need eyes to see
The love you bring to me
No matter where I go
And I know that you'll be there
Forever more a part of me, you're everywhere
I'll always care

And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you
I'll be standing by your side and all you do
And I won't ever leave
As long as you believe
You just believe
​
I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life would just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way