On My Second Mother's Day

I became a mother the second I knew I was carrying Ryan. So this is not my first Mother's Day. I consider it my second. Ryan is the boy who made me a mom. Being a mother is about this intense love you discover. I discovered it that first day with Ryan back on January 2nd 2015. It got deeper every day. And when he died, my heart all but burst because my love for him couldn't be contained anymore. So I mother my boy in ways I never expected to mother a child. By opening and closing his blinds every morning. By planting him a garden. Visiting him at the cemetery. Buying him flowers for his "place" in our living room. Writing letters to him.

Now I'm carrying his sibling. We don't know how this story will end, but I love this little one fiercely.

"A mother is not defined by the number of children you see on earth, but by the love she holds in her heart." And my heart is full of the love for my two children. One who lives in my heart, the other who lives in my womb. Who I hope hard will get to come home with us someday.

Today I wish a Happy Mother's Day to anyone with a mother's heart. The women spending the day with her children in her arms. The women spending the day with her children in her heart. And the women struggling and hoping for a child someday.

Find ways to enjoy today. I hope the sun shines on you wherever you are.