The Whole World in My Hands

Throughout my life, I've made connections with many different people. Few of those people I consider to be good friends. People I regularly connect with on a deeper level. But I don't discount the relationships I've made with people that don't extend much further these days than social media. Sometimes, it's those friends who surprise you most.

Today, I got one of those surprises. And it ended up being so meaningful to me, I had a little "happy cry" at my desk at work. Thankfully, I limit my work-social media-checking to moments alone. Meaning, fortunately, no students were present.

My phone flashed an Instagram notification, which I only receive if the activity is something like a comment or a tag. So my curiosity was peaked. I opened the app and there was a photo from a university-friend. A 10-month new mom of twins. She posted a photo in celebration of her babies' 10 month milestones. But attached to the comment was a shout-out to other "mom friends" of hers, for all the great work they're doing.

Included in that shout-out, was me. 

It's nearly impossible for me to put into words what such an acknowledgement means to me. Even thinking about it now, my chest swells and my eyes well up. The simple act of acknowledging my motherhood along with mothers of "earth-bound" babies, is an act that validates every feeling I carry around with me every day.

Most days, I feel no less a mother than any woman with two kids to feed, bathe, and get to bed after a long day at work. Most days, I find myself antsy for something to do with all of this mothering energy I have and no baby to give it to.

So to get the nod from an old friend that it's working, whatever it is I'm doing here to hold on to my motherhood, means the world to me. This afternoon, with that simple comment, I felt like I had the whole world in my hands. Everything I've been working for, every day, was sitting in my palm. That little affirmation that my motherhood counts for something.