Why, Baby, Why

I heard this song today. "Why, Baby, Why?" by Mickey Guyton. It's really a beautiful song, but it made me feel all kinds of sad, and tears sprang to my eyes quite quickly and effortlessly.

If you listen to all the words, it's very obviously about a break up, and wanting to stop feeling the pain of losing someone you love because they've walked away or you've made some mistake to push them away.

But since I've gotten so good at projecting my own stuff onto the world around me, the pain in the song, the sadness, the sentiment of losing someone and having their absence leave a burning ache inside of you, clearly resonated with me.

Here's a sample of the lyrics that made me feel all the feelings:

But what can I do with these memories
Keeping me up 'til the dawn, hanging on like you're coming back
But you ain't coming back

So tell me why, baby, why, baby
Why, baby, why won't you let me let go?
I try try, baby, try, baby, try
But your love just won't leave me alone
I can't stop the hurt, numb the pain
Cool the burn, kill the ache
No matter how hard that I
Cry, baby, cry
Why, baby, why?

I'm real good at lying to everyone else
But I just can't lie to myself
When the truth is a shadow that follows me
Haunting me just like a ghost, if you're just a ghost

And my head knows, but there's just no convincing my heart.

To be clear, I don't want to be separated from Ryan's love. And I don't ever want to let him go. Even still. Even now. Even though he's already gone. But if you take a listen to the song below, I think you'll hear that pain and sadness that's so easy for me to connect to.